Basking in the afterglow of a lovely Valentine’s Day, with a full heart I realize I have made it to a new level, as if I’m participating in a live video game. I have earned some sort of badge that has launched me up a rung on the ever narrowing spiral of vertical development. (I can almost hear Mario sounds). Although I’ll continue to have trials, I know it will only be possible to fall so far, due to some sort of safety net. Perhaps it’s the support system I’m building, the faith I’m cultivating, or the expansion of my physical heart space and the softening of the tendrils surrounding her. In the future I may feel like I’m sinking lower than ever, but in reality I won’t be, because the learning I’m doing is integrating at a cellular level that my gut says is impossible to un-know.
My body and spirit know that…
I am deeply connected. To all humans, blood relation and non. To the earth, to the rivers, to the whole vibrating planet with all of her multiple legged and sans-leg creation, and this web of connection is un-severable.
I create my reality. With spoken and unspoken words, intention and attention, I choose what to see and how to interact. Even if I find myself in physical constraints, I get to decide which thoughts to entertain.
Pain is a blessing. She lets me know I am alive and what part of my body or psyche needs care and attention. She lets me know when a relationship is asking to be examined and handled with care. She is my canary.
Fear is a portal. Like pain, fear provides an entry point for growth and understanding, as well as access to magic. She lets me know when I’m approaching the sacred. Without fear, courage doesn’t exist, and with courage the game cannot be played.
I am worthy of joy. Extended happiness, even bliss, doesn’t mean there is a monster waiting to sabotage. Joy doesn’t mean I’m cheating or not pulling my worldly weight. Joy is part of the human condition I am cultivating.
I have helpers and guides everywhere. Whether in the etherial form of angel and ancestor, or the concrete form of my favorite authors and podcasters, they are always present and ready to cheer me on.
Sisterhood support is for real. My blood sister, the sisters I circle with, and the women I meet on the street know what I may temporarily forget, and they are willing to remind me of my innate wisdom when I may need a gentle nudge or a firmer push.
All this is really truly sinking in. I see it in the resiliency that I am demonstrating, the paradigms that are shifting, the conversations that are evolving and the beautiful life that I am co-creating.
Thank you universe, for partnering.
Thank you friends, for supporting,
Thank you family, for sharing lineage and story.
Thank you medicine wheel, above, for showing me just how playful this game can be.
Finally, thank you, Max, for gifting a token of love and validation yesterday, and for launching me into the biggest realm of growth I have ever known: motherhood.
xoxo,
mm