Almost five years ago I was asked to define my gentle metrics of success. This was novel to me and an impetus for the personal growth I’ve experienced since then.
This metrics was not to include numbers; no salary, 401k, 529 accounts or any of the normal western world stamps of success like home ownership or leaving a little something behind for the kids, but rather was to approach success from an end-of-life sort of view.
What makes my life successful? How do I know I’ve “made it”?
As I created this metrics, clarity poked her head up out of the depths of fog, pointing me in the direction of my North Star. Most of the items on my list were sensual. None required a fat bank account or proving my worthiness:
A body that is capable of moving, touching and loving,
soft clothing, a warm home, beautiful spaces and textures,
natural and nourishing food from the earth,
deep conversation, social connections and community,
presence in nature with her feels, sights and sounds,
music that moves,
scents that invoke and inspire,
the ability to travel and participate in lens-expanding experiences,
time to reflect and integrate,
the energy to create.
I noticed that a lot of these items on the gentle metrics had to do with pleasure. Growing up with the hard-work ethic of the midwest, smack in the middle of a country settled by puritans, pleasure wasn’t something that was brought up much, nor was the body. In fact, all these “luxuries” that made up my gentle metrics were ideals I held as superfluous, extra, or special treats, as opposed to a way to live.
Work, strive, suffer and save was the unconscious operating model I was using, something I had picked up without noticing along the way. I was living a life of numbers. Slave to the to-do list, clock and mile marker and prone to adding one more class to my schedule or dropping one more penny into the piggy bank.
I can pinpoint this request as a serious pivot-point in my life, leading me to ask such questions as:
Why do I work?
What am I working for?
How do I spend my time?
Who do I want to spend my time with?
Where do I spend my time and how do I leave the spaces I inhabit?
I am so grateful to the wisdom teacher who offered this life-enriching question. I am grateful for recognizing my values and transforming my pace and way of being in the world.
I write this blog to remind myself of both my values and my success, as I still occasionally slip into “am I doing enough, earning enough, offering enough” mentality.
I share this blog to pay it forward. What is your gentle metrics of success?
With humble humanness,
Katie