While basking in said glory of having up-leveled (see my last post), I didn’t stop to consider that this new spiral of the video game would mean new challenges to content with.
New level + new tools = new issues. Duh.
Although I’d love for a new notch in my belt to mean a walk in the proverbial park, the challenges keep coming.
This sort of reminds me of something I read in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. The author, Mark Manson said problems never go away, –they just improve. Warren Buffett’s got money problems; the drunk hobo down at Kwik-E Mart’s got money problems; Buffett’s just got better problems than the hobo. So here I am with my “better” problems than I had last year at this time, at that lower spiral in the video game.
This February, instead of being all bent out of shape like I was last year because other people didn’t plan things the way I wanted them to (sibling trip), weren’t considerate (didn’t ask what I wanted to do on Valentine’s Day) or didn’t love me the way I wanted to be shown (endless complaints in many directions), I am planning my own damn trips, realizing we all have different desires and learning to care for myself, or at least ask for what I want.
Though I’m doing a much better job planning proactively, accepting differences and communicating, I still wind up in the valley of self-doubt and stumble into the entrance to the cave of black and white thinking due to the new things I’m learning (and the things I’m getting to learn again, but better this time). The difference is that this year, I can get out much quicker. I can see myself approaching the cave and pull myself away from it. I can see myself in the valley and say things like, here I am again; look at me being all sad and feeling defeated, acting like a three-year-old. What’s this about? What do I know for sure to be true? I can ask myself what tools I may I need to get out of my toolkit in order to exit and maybe even if it’s okay to stay in for a bit.
Sometimes I feel a bit foolish posting about how great things are and how much I’m learning only to have the next day feel dark and lonely, but with reminders like the one above from Mr. Manson, I know I’m not alone, and I know that these challenges are but invitations for growth. Sometimes it just takes a moment, a day, or a week to decipher what I’m being invited to learn.