Day 10

Fact: … you are most likely to quit your Whole30 program on day 10 or 11. By this point, the newness of the program has worn off. You’ve already experienced most of the unpleasant physical milestones, but you’ve yet to see any of the “magic” the program promises. You’re still struggling to establish a new routine (you are so. tired. of. eggs.), and while you’ve been trying really hard to have a good attitude, today you are incredibly aware of all the foods you’re “choosing not to eat right now.”… You are cranky. You are impatient… This is where you really start to experience the psychological power of your food choices and habits. … You’re standing face to face with the realization that you have twenty more days of perceived deprivation ahead of you…                                             

— Excerpt from the official Whole 30 book


My only additional observation is that I feel incredibly anxious in the mornings. I am not sure if it’s low blood sugar or old anxiety creeping out from all the nooks and crannies it previously was hiding behind with food, booze and sugar, but by the time I make it down to the kitchen in the morning my heart rate feels incredibly fast and I feel pressure in my chest. My morning tea hasn’t seemed to help matters, so I report today as the first day since early in my last pregnancy (seven years ago) that I haven’t had any caffeine. I wasn’t expecting to become this clean. A walk-jog and some yoga in the sunshine prove to be the antidote.

I have about had it with fish and meat. Yes, eggs too. Tonight I made both my first immersion blender soup and my first recipe from the Omaha World Herald, per our babysitter’s suggestion. The creamy cauliflower puree flavored with Indian spices was a refreshing change. The next few days I plan on exploring more with soups and spices. I crave more variety, and I’m not as worried as I was before about needing meat to feel full. My body seems to be adjusting to the lack of grain carbohydrates.

TJ leaves for an unplanned-when-we-started-this-thing Arizona golf trip tomorrow, so I’ll be flying solo. When I first heard his “good” news I felt pretty panicked. This was our thing! We were in it together! I haven’t fully examined it, but the phrase “co-dependent” keeps scrolling across my brain. He’s had a rough go the last few days and doesn’t fully expect to make it through the weekend without cheating a bit. This makes me sad and a little discouraged (and jealous too), but only having to worry about myself on Whole 30 for a few days will be nice too. I may have subconsciously let him off the official hook when I purchased unapproved grind-your-own-peanut-butter for the kids and left it on the shelf unlabeled next to approved and very similar looking almond butter. Of course he got into it.

I look forward to learning what insights day 11 of this little life experiment may bring.


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