Category: Mindful musings

Last July I was wallowing. I was numbing. I was freaking. I was running. I was frozen. I was half here. I had recently resigned from my academic career of 15 years, and I hadn’t committed to anything new, so I worked little and anguished mucho. I felt disconnected and floating. July sucked! Continue reading Follow your gut and step aside, sister

I’ve always had a sweet spot for the summer solstice with the long, glorious summer days that surround it, but only in the last couple of years have I gotten curious about how the solstices and equinoxes play into life’s rhythms, cycles and celebrations. This summer’s solstice is extra special for me. Not only does this week mark the year’s longest days before they gradually begin to shorten into the slowing momentum of fall, winter and the end of the year, but next week also marks my 40th birthday, the one traditionally hailed as leading into the slowing momentum of middle age, older age and death. Continue reading Here comes the sun

Much to my heart’s sweet content, the boys joined me for yoga rocks the park yesterday. This is a first for them despite the many years that YRTP has been a thing here in Omaha in the summertime. It’s not that I’ve not wanted them to join me every year. Nor is it that I haven’t asked them to go with me each year. It’s that I’d never requested them to go as I did yesterday. I was needing to get outside, to move my body, to feel community and to spend time with my men, and instead of asking, “does anyone want to join me for yoga this afternoon?” I stated, “we’re going to yoga this afternoon”. Continue reading a crack in perspective

Dearest Ted,

Happy birthday middle child! Oh, how I wish April 20^th could come before April 17^th every once in awhile. What would it be like for you to just once experience a birthday before your older brother? You may ask what would it be like to experience anything before your older brother. But Ted, you know that feeling deep in your bones: the daredevil bike riding, skateboarding and rock climbing, and being on stage too. I’m sure you also ask yourself what it would be like to have all the experiences last in our family as well, to have parents whose laps aren’t filled with a baby brother. But Ted, because your father and I are frenzied to do it right with the first and we vacillate between being sentimental and nostalgic (or too tired to care) with the last, I think you may have the best spot. Continue reading birthday note to my middle

I don’t normally leave the house before 8:00 a.m. I don’t normally attend breakfast gatherings. I don’t normally plan a coffee meeting after a breakfast gathering. I don’t normally teach a yoga private on the same day as two other engagements and an evening of kids’ activities. But Monday (despite knowing my mental limit) I did just that, and to assuage myself I decided to sandwich the busyness of the day with a noontime yoga class lead by my favorite teacher. Continue reading dharma lesson of the day

I had dinner with a friend last night, one that I rarely get to see, but who goes way back. She shared that recently she’d wanted to pull out every hair on her head (one by one), make a nest out of them, crawl into said nest and die. This was the way she felt after losing her shit on her kids. She described her violent spewing of f-bombs and desire to murder after witnessing one of her children repeatedly hit the other with a gaming controller. She painted the picture so very clearly. I was grateful for and felt reassured by her honesty and vulnerability. Witnessing child against child violence and responding with violence and rage is all too familiar for me. It is one of my biggest nemeses. It is the very thing that brought me to a mindfulness practice, and when I slip up, it is the very thing that makes me believe momentarily that I should quit, because can a person really teach while in the throes of learning? Continue reading no masks friendship

I was supposed to be landing in Phoenix right about now on my way home from Oakland, CA, where I came to meet my newborn niece and kick it with my soul sister, who is also my sister by blood. But because of a giant Midwest ice-storm, instead of breathing stale airport air and hustling from one terminal to another, I’m lounging on the bed in the spare room with the sun streaming onto me from the window, open to the sounds of the street just a few feet below. From my perch I can see the trees surrounding Lake Merritt and the bus stop equipped with the belongings of the mute homeless guy who calls it home. When the breeze blows just right I can hear drumming from a large group of men playing not far from here, and in the span of a few minutes I can hear a multitude of languages spoken by the passersby below. I can smell the inside scents of a 100 year old building and the outside scents of the sea and the Mediterranean restaurant next door. Continue reading Five days in Oakland

Yesterday was Winter Solstice.

We still don’t have our lights up nor our tree brought home. I haven’t purchased many gifts. We haven’t baked much either. Continue reading The season’s a changin’

My quest to be more mindful is a constant process, but every once in awhile I have a mini breakthrough that seems life changing. One such breakthrough occurred Sunday… Continue reading Thanksmas shift