W30 inspired self-care

I was reading through old journal entries the other night and I came upon one from late November, written after having exploded at my kids. I was clearly feeling loads of guilt and remorse when I wrote it. The last line read, “I know beating myself up isn’t going to help. I can only think that maybe drinking and eating poorly doesn’t help either. I don’t want to be so controlling. I feel like I can’t even feel lately. Please god, help me get in touch with my feelings.“ Continue reading W30 inspired self-care

Surrendering control

Day 29 of Whole30 finds me contemplating my reintroduction strategy. Should I do the fast-track model: adding each of the five eliminated groups individually and systematically over the next 15 days to see how my body, mind and spirit respond? Or do I keep going along as I am and only reintroduce when I feel the urge to try a glass of wine, something sweet, a legume-based meal, grain-based snack or dairy product? There are pros and cons to both. If I reintroduce systematically I can be fairly certain of what it is that may be problematic for me, but I hesitate to jeopardize feeling so good. Continuing status quo is another option, but by not systematically reintroducing the foods, I won’t know for a while at least what it is I’m not consuming that allows me to feel so good. I may be missing out on foods I love and thus causing unnecessary burden. Without being under the parameters of the strict plan I also risk blowing it on something that contains multiple food groups, like a chocolate chip cookie made with grains, dairy and sugar. Continue reading Surrendering control

Time and space to digest

“How’s Whole30 going? What day is it for you?” my girlfriend texted me. I interpreted my having to stop to count on my fingers to be a very good sign. It’s true though, eating sans sugar, alcohol, legumes, grains and dairy has gotten to be much less time and energy consuming. I’m getting the hang of this. I say that, though I keep catching hidden sugar in items that I believed to be sugar-free, like the wild caught smoked salmon I’d been eating with scrambled eggs and scallions the past three mornings. There it was on the package, in plain view, “evaporated cane juice”. You can’t really assume anything that comes in a package is sugar-free, unless you read said package. Lesson learned. Again. Continue reading Time and space to digest

Ketones and patience

The official Whole30 book states that by this time I will most likely be experiencing Tiger Blood, which they explain is akin to waking up in the morning feeling like someone “flipped on a switch and turned on the awesome”. Today I woke up with a cold. Instead of experiencing amazing workouts, a clear mind and exuberant energy, I am lethargic, achy and sniffling. The fact that I came down with a winter-cold doesn’t surprise me, the last week or so my heart has been beating in over-time. Yesterday I may have stumbled onto the why. Continue reading Ketones and patience

Lucky 13?

After a few more days of observation, I don’t believe the rapid heart rate and chest pressure I experience in the mornings is completely related to low blood sugar. I’m pretty sure that waking crystal clear –instead of lumbering out of bed in a fog and robotically and sluggishly beginning my morning mom duties– is allowing the previously dulled anxiety to really surface. The Whole30 book doesn’t have an entry in the index for “anxiety”. I’m shocked. I can’t be the only one out of hundreds of thousands who after removing sugar, alcohol and caffeine (and comforting grains and dairy) experiences unease of this sort. Continue reading Lucky 13?

Day 10

Fact: … you are most likely to quit your Whole30 program on day 10 or 11. By this point, the newness of the program has worn off. You’ve already experienced most of the unpleasant physical milestones, but you’ve yet to see any of the “magic” the program promises. You’re still struggling to establish a new routine (you are so. tired. of. eggs.), and while you’ve been trying really hard to have a good attitude, today you are incredibly aware of all the foods you’re “choosing not to eat right now.”… You are cranky. You are impatient… This is where you really start to experience the psychological power of your food choices and habits. … You’re standing face to face with the realization that you have twenty more days of perceived deprivation ahead of you…                                             

— Excerpt from the official Whole 30 book

Continue reading Day 10

Week one and done

The last four days of Whole 30 required venturing out into the world with my new habits just a bit. Thursday night I had 40 minutes to kill between teaching a yoga-class and retrieving Max and his buddies from basketball, so I stopped by Starbucks and ordered a peach tranquility tea to sip while I waited. It smelled heavenly. “So sweet”, I thought. Uh-oh. Sweet. I quickly googled the tea, and low and behold, it was in fact made with candied peaches. I spent my time in Starbucks smelling my tea and pondering the fact that I was in a Starbucks not drinking or eating a thing. Was I crazy? Had I gone too far? Is this what it feels like to stick to a plan? I vacillated between feeling like a silly fad dieter to feeling completely empowered. You see, there was a time in my life I planned my day around my coffee and accompanying coffee cake.  Continue reading Week one and done

Thoughts from day three

Whoa. I didn’t sleep for two nights, one of them extremely uncomfortable, so I don’t really know if the shakes and overwhelming feelings of vulnerability and hyper-emotionality I experienced  yesterday were due to Whole 30 detoxification, lack of sleep or PMS. I tried a few times to blog about my doubts and panicky feelings, but I was quite verbose and not comfortable posting my ramblings. However, I whimpered myself to sleep last night, slept like a baby and I awoke, well-rested and with my feet landed back on the ground. Yay!  Continue reading Thoughts from day three

Come to me, sweet sleep

When I wake up, it’s officially a go. However, I have to fall asleep first. I think my insomnia stems from a combination of:

  • My first grain-free day since I was four months old (and almost dairy and sugar-free). I wanted to ease myself in, so I kind of started today, but I feel ravenous, and it’s not yet day one!
  • Nervousness about going back to reality with school and work tomorrow. I’ve got the normal stuff, plus a few more new commitments I’ve added this semester.
  • The delicious smelling chicken broth simmering on my stove over-night. The smell is intoxicating. Perhaps that is why I feel so hungry?

Continue reading Come to me, sweet sleep